Transforming isolating walls into relational bridges
Every experience in life, whether enjoyable, unpleasant or somewhere in-between, presents us with an opportunity to mature and grow. However, we may choose to flee that experience and suppress all the feelings associated with it. We often learn at an early age that we experience less emotional pain and life works better when we avoid or minimize relational tension and therefore we unconsciously develop strategies for accomplishing this. This approach comes at a cost, a division between the heart (our feelings), body, mind (our intellect), and our souls. The result of this division manifests in shame, broken relationships, addictions, chronic physical ailments and feelings of emptiness.
Each day of life is a series of experiences; imagine each of these experiences being encapsulated in their own brick. As we go through life we use those bricks to build walls around ourselves, to protect ourselves from getting hurt. This seems effective, however, the walls also separate us from ourselves and others thus preventing us from experiencing intense feelings of joy, passion and sorrow that come with deep connectedness with others.
Counseling is the careful process identifying these bricks and then slowly and gently taking down the wall, one brick at a time. Each brick is restored and redeemed and then re-laid into a new formation that invites relationship, perhaps a bridge or maybe a patio? In the context of this process we look at ways of being in relationship that will better prepare you for engaging in life’s many experiences.
As a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, I specialize in helping people cease their undesired compulsive and addictive sexual behaviors and move into a life filled with more healthy and meaningful relationships. I use a variety of therapeutic modalities depending on the specific need and therapy goals. I am trained in both EMDR and experiential methods, two modalities that work well to resolve trauma.